Alone

Everything just seems to crash down.
We thought that it might be better from then since.
But we were wrong.
I was wrong.
All the effort i put in, who can truly see it.
To you all i am is a false hope.
Maybe you aren't truly proud of me at all.
Whatever i do, its never enough nor up to your standard.
What shall i even do now.
I am beyond upset.
I am all alone now.

Dream girl

It was that one night that I dream about 'her'.
The 'her' that only existed in my dream. That one and only vivid dream.
Our meeting was a sudden one. As she appeared with a partner as some kind of agent.
Then that was when i set my eyes on her.
She was so kind and lovey. Words cannot describe how much i fell in love with her.
And not long after, we got to hang out for the very first time.
It was a wonderful experience.
Although i cannot get her name or any form of contact as she said she was some kind of top secret agent.
Despite the fact that she was a secret agent, we hang out a lot more often.
As time past, i fell in love with her deeper and deeper.
Till one day fate tore us apart.
One day, another agent came in. Not knowing what was his motive. But i was framed.
Framed for something that i have not done at all.
He climbed out of the window and faked a suicide.
That was when my memory about this dream got blurry.
And i never got to saw her ever again.
Our meeting and our parting both suffered the same fate, it was both so sudden.
Even my greatest regret in a dream is not even knowing her name.
Sadly as I am typing this story, I am slowly forgetting her looks.
This was indeed, a vivid dream.
A dream and memory I hope not to forget. Because she was my,
Dream Girl.

Day

One day can go by without contacting me.
No question, no doubts, no care. Nothing.
If you can do that for one day, what a month? What about a year?
Can you really stand this for long?
Honestly, i can't and i will never will.
So what should i do?
Close an eye or two?
I honestly don't know.
Do we even match?
I ask myself so many times.
What am i to you?

Sadly i am back this time.
Sadly i am blogging this in the toilet too. Hiding myself and crying in the toilet alone.
Too much shit too handle in this relationship.
I seek for your kindness.
I seek for your understanding.
But every time we fight.
Those things were never there. NEVER...
I am really tired of all these.
Ever since we are together, those were the facts that never changed and i doubt will ever change.
Tell me what to do for you to come hugging me instead of clouding your own mind with anger and sadness.
What i need the most now,
Is your understanding.