So here I am back after a long time. Whenever I'm back typing here, mostly nothing good is gonna be posted.
It all started on a new year's day, a simple truth hidden behind the thinnest wall, got found out. As tough as my front can be is as weak as my trust has been. I detest people who tamper with my trust and out of everyone, I had to be you that broke that trust by hiding such a simple matter from me.
If you could just tell me that simple matter, things would not have turned out the way it is today.
You said you're tired or crying. You said you're tired of being sad. But is that fair to me? Do I wish this tragedy to be upon us? How come the simplest but the most terrifying truth is always the worst when it is the most needed?
Time has changed you and me, for better or for worst. A friend of yours said I didn't become worst but just lost myself. I with old core values and a new hollow shell. I bet you knew it too as I've said many times too. But at the end of the day, it is me who faces my own demons and fears with no one that can truly understand me, not even you.
Things that I had written here are fairly similar in one way or another because when an issue arouses, you never truly wanted to fully resolve it unlike me. You liked to sweep it under the rag, pretend nothing has happened. When everything is right beneath your very nose. How long do you want to escape from fights that are reoccurring time after time? You can longer take it anymore, and neither could i. As I had been fighting for us from the very start till the very end.
Yes, I've changed, I became so vulnerable when I'm with you that I've become weak, for such to be with you comfortably. But everything comes with a price, a huge price no one is ready to pay when the time comes. So neither am i.
There is still more to be said for this sad new year. But things got to come to an end. And possibly our relationship too.
