Good Bye

 The news hit me so hard and suddenly. I was on my way after work ended and you texted me and called it an end and to end your misery.

I was not allowed to reconcile, and not a single drop of mercy was shown. And subsequently, you blocked me on telegram.

I panicked on the way but to my surprise, I did not break down at that moment. 

I wanted to rush down to meet you to talk things out but in the end, I decided not to since it might only make things worse with our emotions getting the better of ourselves, or myself instead.

Till the end of that night, I was still lost in limbo. I did not know what to feel then.

I had a long chat with the bros till late into the night and it has led me to see many things clearer. 

Do you see a future with her? if you can patch things up this time, can you handle the emotional damage on the next occasion? are you ready to be the bigger man to let her go and see her happier without you? 

All these questions flooded my mind, again and again, the entire night like ghosts haunting me. 

Although I have had a rough idea of my answers, I choose not to believe them like how I did time over time when we had such huge fights in the past. 

I began to doubt myself and ultimately doubted our relationship back then. 

My bro told me, "how many 7 years more do you guys have to continue this?" And that really shook me to the core. 

There are so many things that I can type out here but as I am typing this post, too many emotions and thoughts are flowing through my head. 

I woke up the next day with the first thing in mind being you, and I finally broke down alone. I could not take it and I let the emotions get the better of me.

I felt so hopeless and helpless. Later on, I found out that you removed me and maybe blocked me on all possible social media platforms. 

After which your friend texted me saying that you are quite final on your decision and wanted to distance yourself away from me. Also, the news came in of asking your friend to do the belongings exchange on your behalf gave me the impression that all was over. 

I could not muster the courage to face you to handle the issue at hand as much as I want to. But I doubted when I asked myself how many more times can I do this? 

Is it really time to let go to see you happier without me? 

I know it would.

But in the long run, will we truly be happier without each other? After all, being together for 7 years is really not a short duration.

We have tided through waves of problems and stuck with each other for a quarter of our current life and in 1 day it all ended like that.

Could you bear to see it end like this? I know I could not. 

But if the final decision of yours is for me to let go of you, I will try my best to fulfill that request of yours and end our 7 years long relationship. 

You were my first and I longed for you to be my last. 

I love you and always will and I know that you did too.

Perhaps we were really not meant to be because of our differences like you always said which I choose not to believe time after time but now I finally see it.

What you needed I could not give. What I needed you could not give either. 

I am really sorry it has to end this way and although I thought I was ready to let go and end this, I could not bring myself to do it.

Although I still do not want to give up, the chances of salvaging this relationship are far beyond my vision at this point. 

If given the chance, I would still like to fight for you and fight for the US.

I do not regret this relationship and I hope neither will you.

Dare I say this, given the chance in the next life, I will still wish to meet you and have a relationship with you again no matter what.