Thank you.

 Hello, I hope you are doing well.

I am sending you this email perhaps as a farewell message or a closure message depending on how things go. 

The beginning of our happiness.

Remember how I used to chase you during our ITE days, TWICE some more. 

Because this was the girl that made me go crazy for the first time in my life. I wanted to make you mine so bad that it hurts when I got rejected by you for the first time. 

After you hooked my arm during the send-off for my Shen Zhen trip, I thought so hard on my flight there and throughout the entire trip that once I return and that was when I knew I will do anything to get her again! And I did that straight once I came back. 

From buying you food and gifts to sending you stuff during classes although we were in different classes which made me so devastated back then, to have to wait for hours for you to end work after school. 

I even went to Tsubo to work with you just to get closer to you even though I have not worked in FnB before. 

And one day you finally saw through my efforts and accepted me as your boyfriend. 

Man, I was over the moon that day that I jumped around like a small boy that I finally have you as my girlfriend.

From our first time holding hands to the first peck on the cheek and to our first kiss, it was all too magical that it gave me butterflies in my tummy. Credits to you for making most of the first moves cause I was being a "gentleman".

When things start to go wrong.

However, as time passed, we found out each of our own flaws and could barely handle them. 

We started to have disagreements and fights about how we became a couple too quickly without going through the 'friend' stage.

But we made it through the next 7 years, thinking we could continue on but we barely addressed the issues.

You might hate me now.

You might hate me for sending you this message to haunt you.

You might hate me for the unintended hurt that has caused you to suffer in pain.

You might hate me for not giving you what you needed in a relationship.

And you might hate yourself for ending this relationship.

And I am sorry.

But I hope this email gets to you since I had lost all ways to contact you. 

Ever since 2 years ago we had a big fight like this one too and that already made us stand at the edge. 

I will be very honest, every time we had a big fight I will start to lose vision of our future. The future that I yearned for, since the very beginning of our relationship. It made me doubt our relationship and even our compatibility. 

Are we that different and not suitable? 

After all, we did share 7 years of wonderful memories together and that cannot be fake.

Although you still gave in time after time to sustain the relationship, you too were slowly losing confidence in the relationship and even told yourself that there will be no more next time to get yourself hurt again. I am sorry.

We began to distance ourselves from troubles and quarrels. 

We overlooked what we needed from each other as we had little to no more expectations that we can fulfill each other's needs in a relationship. 

I will be honest, I started to give more excuses for our meetups.

Excuses like different work schedules and free days, your workplace is too far from mine, I need to go home to play a game, I need to go workout, I am tired, are just a few of the "reasons" I give myself for not making the effort to meet you. I am sorry.

I also see myself brushing off any unhappiness when we meet up, saying "up to you" more often as I do not want to start another fight and cause more friction between us.

The final straw.

After the breakup, it made me realize so many things. 

Things that I took for granted for the past 7 years. 

Things that we fought over and over again and yet I chose to tell myself that it is not a compatibility issue between us.

Things as simple as your love language being of actions instead of words, but I only gave you words of affirmation which was not what you needed. 

If given the chance to have one last talk with you. 

I would be sure that I will put in all the effort to make things right for us once and for all.

To make sure I solve the issues from the very beginning that we did not address and come up with a solution. 

Although it is not promised to be an easy journey ahead from here, I want and am willing to give us one last try.

HAND IN HAND.

I really hope we can give ourselves one last chance after 7 years of being a couple.

I am sure we both do not want to end this with regrets.

I am ready to face this challenge and more together as a couple and I really do not wish to see us end. 

If all else is lost, I am getting ready to let you go to see you happier without me. 

Never have I regretted meeting you, the only regret I have was not trying enough and giving you what you needed the most. 

The actions of love and initiative from me that you needed when all seems lost. 

If given the chance, I will still wish to meet you in the next life and many more after and be a couple, a couple that fights against the world. 

Thank you for everything you have given me for the past 7 years. 

I love you and I always will.